I have been going back and forth from the hospital for 3days in one week now. Got a consultation and two test and was given a medicine then referred to another specialist for other findings.

Im really depressed on how unhealthy i am since i was a child. I have never told anyone before how i felt how painful it is. I wanted to live normal until being sick is what normal to me is now. I have questioned God a thousand times why i am like this but on the other part im still lucky to be breathing. But until when can i carry on?

I am asthmatic.
I have bells palsy.
I have a polycystic ovaries.
I have a non alcoholic fatty liver.
I have a bent back (scoliosis)
I have a mild leukocytosis.
I have floaters in my eyes.
I have knee arthritis.
What more can I ask for?

But i have learned to live with it.
Before i always say that i cant reach some certain age. But now i really would like to fight for my life.

I need to start eating healthy.


Currently I’m working as a programmer. I studied PC programming back when I was in the UNI. Then i got a job trained to handle MAINFRAME programming and now dealing with super computers.
PC programming is for the front end system ang MAINFRAME is for the back end until I was given and was told to do end to end programming (means I have to deal with both). I am not super good in both. I just know how to handle them pretty well. I work on some systems alone with absolutely no teammates. And it’s hard and yeah its sad.

This week I was told that I am bwing prepared to be a team leader and gave me a team to handle. But no don’t get excited because I’m not promoted just my role in a project was. I’m pretty happy that they trust me that I can handle people now. But ironically my subs are my seniors and have higher wage than me. And I’m also happy that when there is a problem in our projects I’m the one being ask what my strategies are to solve it.

I’m happy with my work but I forgot to have time with the people around me. I always find it hard to separate work fron my personal life. And it’s very frustrating. And i don’t know the solution to this.

This was me 3 years ago